Dont you hate the 2nd guess? I know I do. When you think you should do something (or not do something) and the decision you made haunts you.
Tonight a very sweet (and sweaty) (its like 100 degrees) african-american young man in his 20's came to my door and was selling books/magazines. He was dressed very professional and had great manners. He explained that the real point of selling things was to learn people skills and how to be professional. I like to think the best about people so I believed him. I for some reason had no cash on my so I came up with $2 (and a cold 7up) to give him because I didn't want to buy a $40 book (thats crazy). He said thank you and went on his way. He never pressured the sale or made me feel uncomfortable.
When I went for a walk later in the evening I saw a Frisco cop car pulled over on the side of the road and the young man was standing next to it. The cops were in there car while he stood looking awkward on the sidewalk. He saw me walking on the other side of the street and smiled and said quietly "I think I won two tickets to chuck-e-cheese" he was obviously embarrassed and trying to make light of it.
Everything in me told me to walk over to the police car and ask what was going on. I thought I could at least give my experience with him to help his case. Soliciting is not illegal in this neighborhood. I hated to think it, but I'm pretty sure they pulled him over for his skin color... which makes me real, real mad.
I ended up not going over. I wrestled in my mind over whether the cop would get mad at me or if the guy really was a crook and I would be defending him.. basically I failed to live up to my life motto, Micah 6:8 "And what does the Lord require of you, that you seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God."
The more I think about it... the more I realize my decision was all about me. He needed my help, my voice. I failed.
Praying for forgiveness and hoping I learn from this.